Have a safe Memorial Day!

And The New American Idols Are...

Scotty McCreery, Chiz Escudero and Alfred E. Neuman!

Monkey See, Monkee Do!

Happy Harold Camping Day ?

Harold Egbert Camping (born July 19, 1921) is a Christian radio broadcaster and president of Family Radio, a California-based religious broadcasting network that spans more than 150 outlets in the United States as well as a website.

Camping's trademarks include his deep, sonorous voice coupled with a slow cadence. He has also used Bible-based numerology to predict dates for the end of the world. His most recent end times prediction is that the Rapture will occur on May 21, 2011 and that God will subsequently completely destroy the Earth and the universe five months later on October 21. He had previously predicted that the Rapture would occur in September 1994. [wiki]

Ahnold The Impregnator

 

Arnold Schwarzenegger admitted that he fathered a child with a member of his household staff. The woman’s husband became suspicious when he realized she was the first maid to make $1 million a year.

Arnold kept this secret for more than 10 years. You know how he did it? He moved the woman and child into an apartment right down the street from the Pakistani military academy. - Leno


Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a child with his maid. I can’t believe no one knew this was Arnold’s son. When he came out of the womb, he snapped his own umbilical cord.

I mostly feel bad for this kid that now has to learn how to spell the name Schwarzenegger.

Maria Shriver had dinner with Oprah the other night, so Arnold is in a lot of trouble. He should start looking into fortified compounds in Abbottabad. - Kimmel

Schwarzenegger secretly fathered a child outside of his marriage 10 years ago. He told his wife at the time but it took 10 years for her to figure out what he was saying.

Arnold kept the child secret for 10 years. So maybe he is a good actor after all. - Conan

Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a lovechild back in 2003. He’s been taking care of the child financially, providing healthcare and education — the same stuff he took from every other child while he was governor of California.

Arnold is already coming up with excuses. He said he was just auditioning to be the next head of the IMF.  - Ferguson

Osama and Mary Palmer with her five friends.

 

The SEALs recovered an extensive stash of pornography from bin Laden’s compound. There were interesting titles: “Debby Does Abbottabad,” “Deep Goat,” "Hubothabad Sa Abbottabad," and  “Osama bin Hayden's Scandal .” 

It's now official folks. Even with eleven wives at his disposal, Osama Bin Slappen is doing the Five Knuckle Shuffle, Spanking the monkey, Jerkin' the gherkin, The old yanky the cranky, Chafing the carrot, Chokin the Chicken, Cleaning the Pipes, Making Nut Butter, White Water Wristing, and playing With Mary Palmer and her five friends.

Friday the 13th Hula-Hula

 

Friday the 13th na naman. Marami ang hindi lilipad o magtra-travel ngayon maski na dito sa estet. Tinatayang $900 million ang ikakalugi ng negosyo sa araw na ito. Kaya naman medyo morbid ang post natin ngayon.

Tanong: Ano ang leading cause of death sa buong mundo?

 O walang mandadaya o maggu-google. 

Siret? Click lang po sa comments sa ibaba for the answer.

Curl Up & Dye

 

"Last night the Dalai Lama implied that the killing of Osama bin Laden was justified. I think his exact quote was, "I love all living things, but that guy was a dick." -Conan

"Osama bin Laden is in the ocean. How ironic. Once again surrounded by seals." – Leno

 

"There's already been some trouble for Osama bin Laden in the afterlife. There was a mix up and he was greeted by 72 vegans." – Letterman  

"The death of Osama bin Laden last Sunday has apparently damaged our relationship with al Qaeda. Al Qaeda has released a statement vowing to make America pay for bin Laden's death. Which - I'm pretty sure we did pay for his death. We paid for the whole thing and even took care of the funeral arrangements. Maybe a thank you would be nice." – Kimmel

Manny Pacquiao Dominates the Boxing Headlines

Breaking news: Osama Still Alive!

 

Al Qaeda's just-released photo proving that Osama bin Laden is still alive!  Maski na walang phone and internet connection si Al Qaeda bossing sa villa eh thanks to satellite TV, na watch pa rin niya ang Pacquiao vs. Mosley fight sa Vegas.

Reactions to Osama bin Laden Situation Room Live Video Feed Finally Explained

Hillary Clinton  "Those were 38 of the most intense minutes. I have no idea what any of us were looking at at that particular millisecond when the picture was taken. I am somewhat sheepishly concerned that it was my preventing one of my early spring allergic coughs. So, it may have no great meaning whatsoever.”

President Obama "We got him!"
 

Vice-President Biden " I'm just resting my eyes." 

Happy Nanay's Day

  
Sometimes she sang just like Janet Jackson- with a breast sticking out. 
Thanks for the lullabies mom. Happy Mother's Day.

 

Agency: DM9JaymeSyfu, Manila, Philippines
Creative Directors: Eugene Demata, Merlee Jayme
Art director: Herbert Hernandez
Copywriter: Louie Sotto
Designer: Allan Montayre
Photographer: DMV

Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

Cinco de Mayo is a Mexican civic holiday held on May 5 that commemorates the Mexican army's unlikely victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862, under the leadership of General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguín.  It is celebrated primarily in the state of Puebla and in the United States.  While Cinco de Mayo sees limited significance in Mexico itself, the date is observed nationwide mostly in the United States as a celebration of Mexican heritage and pride.  Mexicans and Latinos living in California during the American Civil War are credited with being the first to celebrate Cinco de Mayo in the United States. [wiki]

Yellow Fever!

"It's party time. P, A, R, T. Why? Because I gotta!" - Jim Carrey, The Mask

 

Queen Elizabeth II in her fiery canary dress/suit inspired by Jim Carrey's smokin Zoot suit!

Osama Has Been...

Meanwhile at the White House Correspondents' Dinner, it's payback time.